You come first.

In the spirit of bringing back old writings, this is from August of 2011. It is still very relevant to today.

I choose to let go of the things of this world and look forward to tomorrow. Take those bad (or good) situations and no matter the issue, reflect on the good in it, whatever it is. Focus and meditate on those good things. Do NOT let the bad in them get you down or dwell in the negative! Because honestly, it just does not feel that great. Tomorrow is a new day, the past is behind me and the future is ahead of me, today is a gift from God (that is why we call it the present). Today is the tomorrow that I dreamed of yesterday. I have way too many things ahead of me to try and deal with this stuff. It does not do anything good for me. Maybe that is just it, take my life for how it is and everything it is going to be and LOVE it. LOVE it like it is the only thing that matters in this place, because it is. I have friends and family that I can love and care for and appreciate but there are more important things in life. And that is to love and care for and appreciate yourself. If I do not do that, I am living and breathing for nothing. Everything is happening around me, and to me, but what will I do when it is time to actually stand up for myself and put matters into my own hands. The essence of this may be to take care of yourself or do not let stupid stuff get to you, but I take it as loving me for who I am and not taking things for granted because there are billions of other people on this Earth and my focus should be to care for myself...

3 People

I had to write a personal statement for my English class and thought I would share.

Prompt: If you could have dinner with any three people (alive now or from another era), who would they be and what you hope to learn from them?

If there was an opportunity in my life for me to sit down and have dinner with three people, well that would be a very hard decision. My first instinct would be to choose historical figures, celebrities, or people I constantly see on the cover of Forbes Magazine. Actually I would prefer these people be close in relationship to me like a family member or friend I never got the chance to get to know very well. My first choice would be my dad Gary Armstrong, and two friends named Joe Napolis and Evan Etoch.

When I was four years old, my dad passed away from lung cancer after a long habit of smoking. I can imagine that I didn’t really understand this part of my life very well at first. But I soon came to find out that all my friends were living in this perfect world with two parents and I came to the realization I didn’t have a dad. Just about every single day I wondered what it would be like to have a dad: how he would treat me, how he would love me, and just the things in life that a dad is essentially there for a young girl. I would like to sit down with my dad and hope he loves Mexican food as much as I do, and dwell into all these topics and questions that have captivated my heart and mind for most of my young lives. Then within a span of a typical dinner time I would know in my heart what it would be like to have a dad.

Another person in my life that I would like to spend more time with and converse with over dinner is named Evan Etoch. Evan was a well-known boy I went to school with. I started at a new middle school with him in seventh grade, then through eighth grade, and during our freshman year of high school he ended his life doing something he always did and will love: dirt bike riding. It was such a passion for him and when I think about the time he spent in the last few minutes of his life he makes me so happy. In a matter of hours his death broke the hearts and spirits of so many people in one community. My goal would be to talk to him and thank him for the legacy and memory he left behind to his immediate family and friends and the people who had the unfortunate yet fortunate joy of getting to know him after his passing. Then ask him what he learned up in heaven for two and a half years after looking down on all of us and seeing the pain that we had to suffer through. I would want to know in his own words why it was so necessary for him to leave Earth so young and innocent with what seemed like such a hopeful life ahead of him.

If I could choose one more person to sit and have dinner with, I would not hesitate to talk with my friend Joe Napolis. When I moved to a new town in 2005 I was barely turning ten years old and he was a man at my church who along with his wife guided me in many right directions, not only in my life but to grow in my Christian faith. While not knowing a whole lot about Joe and spent a lot of time with him and his wife Theresa. Joe and Theresa were actively involved in the church and my family grew to be close with them through the years. He was diagnosed with cancer and passed away in a matter of four months. Part of what broke me deep inside after his death was the fact that I never got to say goodbye. It was first thought that he was just sick and going in and out of the hospital. But when the cancer was detected and he was transferred to a far hospital and I was never allowed to visit him. That was something that I had to handle on the inside before I could change my outlook on his death on the outside. If I had the opportunity to sit down with him I would talk about the fact that I my family and him and his wife spent so much time together , yet I would have liked to know more about his life and what got him to where he left his life on his final days.

It seems like I would prefer sitting down to have dinner with people would have passed away at some point in my life. Also sharing the fact that I spent time and love with these people yet I could have known so much more about them. I really believe that my experiences with these people could have the potential of changing my present outlook on life and death and how I should carry out the rest of my life. Because in reality I only get one life to live and one want to make it the best one yet.

Food for Thought

This is just a little picture I got from a Goodwill in Bakersfield and couldn't help but post. Simple yet kind of adorable rules to try and live by. Everyday tasks that some can really make a difference, others a little funny, and some pretty random.

Sing in the shower

Treat everyone you meet the way you want to be treated

Watch a sunrise at least once a year

Leave the toilet seat in the down position

Never refuse homemade brownies

Strive for excellence, not perfection

Plant a tree on your birthday

Learn three clean jokes

Return borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full

Compliment three people every day

Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them

Leave everything a little better than you found it

Keep it simple

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures

Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know

Floss you teeth

Ask for a raise when you feel you've earned it

Be forgiving of yourself and others

Overtip breakfast waitresses

Say "thank you" a lot

Say "please" a lot

Avoid negative people

Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yards

Wear polished shoes

Remember others people's birthdays

Commit yourself to constant improvement

Carry jumper cables in your trunk

Have a firm handshake

Send lots of Valentine's cards. Sign them "Someone who thinks your terrific."

Look people in the eye

Be the first to say "hello"

Use the good silver

Return all things you borrow

Make new friends, but cherish the old ones

Keep secrets

Sing in the shower

Plant flowers every spring

Have a dog

Always accept an outstretched hand

Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.

Wave at kids on school buses

Be there when people need you

Feed a stranger's expired parking meter

Don't expect life to be fair

Never underestimate the power of love

Drink champagne for no reason at all

Live you life as an exclamation, not an explanation

Don't be afraid to say, "I made a mistake."

Don't be afraid to say, "I don't know."

Compliment even small improvements

Keep your promises (no matter what)

Marry only for love

Rekindle old friendships

Count your blessings

Call your mother

Charlie Brown by Coldplay

Wooh, ooh ooh ooh

Stole a key,
Took a car downtown where the lost boys meet,
Took a car downtown and took what they offered me.
To set me free,
I saw the lights go down at the end of the scene,
I saw the lights go down and they're standing in front of me.

Wooh, ooh ooh ooh

And my scarecrow dreams,
When they smashed my heart into smithereens,
Be a bright red rose come bursting the concrete.
Be a cartoon heart,
Light a fire, a fire, a spark
Light a fire, a flame in my heart.
We'll run wild,
We'll be glowing in the dark.

Wooh, ooh ooh ooh

We'll be glowing in the dark.

All the boys, all the girls,
All that matters in the world
All the boys, all the girls,
All the madness that occurs.
All the highs, all the lows,
As the room is spinning goes
We'll run riot,
We'll be glowing in the dark.

Wooh, ooh ooh ooh

So we soar luminous and wired
We'll be glowing in the dark.

Give, because you WILL receive

I took a first time visit at The Crossing Church last Sunday (the 12th) and I decided to get up really and give it another try. As I am grabbing my bible and I stuffing a paper in it and the exact page I open drops a 5 dollar bill. The first thing I said was how I love when that kind of thing happens.
My aunt was right there and she put a little humor into it and said that that was God's way of saying "thanks for being a good christian by getting up early to go to church, here's a little money for a Starbucks". Made me laugh and then I thought I just might take her up on that.
I finally left for church and got there and totally forgot to stop. I thought, no biggie, i'll just do it another time. During the service they announced the offering. Less than a second later, I thought to give that 5 to the church. They discussed for a minute how the offering is how way of honoring God and giving back to our local church. I said, perfect, thank you God for giving me this opportunity.
But wait! Then they said there is a Benevolent Offering they take once a month for families in the church who are struggling or may be less fortunate than others. Next thing I said, seriously God? Really? This is quite perfect! Thank you!
I thought for second, if it would actually be worth it. I mean, if I can afford to give 5 dollars. What the heck am I saying?! Of course I can! God just placed an amazing way to give right in the palm of my hands (or I guess my back pocket).
So for today, no Starbucks, just giving to people which feels really good!

"Raisin in the Sun" Character Poem

We had just finished "A Raisin in the Sun" in my Juniors Honors English class. My teacher assigned us the task of evolving into the persona of one character, whether major or minor role, into a three stanza poem. I automatically decided to choose a character a knew a lot about. The first stanza was based on the past (facts/events taken from the play, or my own imagination), the second on the present (facts/events solely based on the what happened in the play), and the third on the future (again, facts/events based in the play or what I thought would happen after the story. My teacher based our poems on 7 categories on different point values.
1) creative title - 5 pts
2) three stanzas (the first on the past, second on the present, and third on the future) - 15 pts
3) each stanza is 10 lines long - 10 pts
4) stanza two contains overt references to specific events from the play - 10 pts
5) the poem as a whole reads smoothly; the language is fluent - 20 pts
6) the poem as a whole reflects the true essence of the chosen character - 20 pts
7) the language in the poem is poetic and contains a minimum of five literary devices - 20 pts
I thought since I was rewarded a perfect score, this poem was worth sharing.
If you have read the play, this poem will fairly easy for you to follow.
My character was Ruth Younger.

Will He Still Love Me in the End?

I was just like most girls
Who dream of a man to spend my life with
This man is my knight in shining armor
He is my stronghold, to whom I entrust my life
Then I hope he can feel the same about me
This is the love that I long to keep for him
With this deep love and loyalty, we can overcome any obstacles
I know there may be plenty of times,
For us to agree to disagree
But I know we can work through anything that comes our way

My man has found this check in life, to cradle like a newborn baby
How can he find material things, like a check,
Even more important than the love he must share with his wife
His own mother is like his dog to hand over the check when she gets it
He pretends to care for his beloved sister,
Can't he figure out she longs for a future too?
Her dreams and desires are meant to come true
Our lives and things we long for should not be put on halt
What about these friends on Walter's?
What if something happens with the money, or Walter's plans?
Will he then come back to loving me?

My prediction came true, exactly what I imagined
But my husband, oh how I love him,
Made up for his mistake
I knew he had it in him the whole time, it was only a matter of finding it
Like the Lord Jesus to his children, my husband showed his love for his family
I could never ask for a more beautiful home with my beautiful family
Even if the people of this world are not perfect,
I know in life things will get better
We will prosper as one people and live the lives we were meant to
Joined altogether with the unconditional love my husband

Lessons from little kids

Lessons and ideas are constantly being taught to us about people and ourselves in our every day lives.

Yesterday was my 4th day of my first job at the Orange County Fair. I am working in this huge tent with a bunch of games, activities, and contests for little kids. So every day I switch to different stations or games where I am supervising children. Like in the sandbox or the play-camp.

Well anyway, the act of just sitting there making sure these kids don't hurt themselves or do anything they are not supposed to, is also an opportunity to enjoy them. I really enjoy (and this might sound a little cheesy) watching kids just smiling and running around having fun. It makes me smile and feel good inside. Other times kids just do things that are so darn cute that I can't help but laugh!

I had to approach a little boy about climbing on top of part of the play gym. When he got down, I think he wasn't sure whether the next thing he was doing was okay, so every time he did something he would look back at me maybe getting my approval for it.

I believe this scenario can be turned into our walk with God. In a way we are usually turning back to God to get his approval. Everything in life happens in his timing so when we try and make something happen they is a chance it won't work out. We must pray about it and realize if it was meant to happen or if it is in his will, it will happen.

Or the little girl on my first day. She was maybe eight. I think I saw her for about an hour playing at my game. She just loved, she kept coming back. She was soon taking over and showing the other kids how to play the game. I didn't even have to help, she had it all covered. I remember thinking if I walked away (which I would NOT do), this eight-year-old could take my job. And that is exactly was she pointed out, "I could have your job in eight years!" This eight-year-old said with so much enthusiasm and excitement. We all need to have this same kind of attitude and perspective of this eight-year-old in our daily lives. When something comes up that we don't want to deal with, observe the situation but figure out a way to come out in the end learning something and feeling happy it happened. If she still wants the job in eight years, I sure hope it works out for her!

Not everything these kids do is so relatable to life though, most of it is just funny or really cute!