You come first.

In the spirit of bringing back old writings, this is from August of 2011. It is still very relevant to today.

I choose to let go of the things of this world and look forward to tomorrow. Take those bad (or good) situations and no matter the issue, reflect on the good in it, whatever it is. Focus and meditate on those good things. Do NOT let the bad in them get you down or dwell in the negative! Because honestly, it just does not feel that great. Tomorrow is a new day, the past is behind me and the future is ahead of me, today is a gift from God (that is why we call it the present). Today is the tomorrow that I dreamed of yesterday. I have way too many things ahead of me to try and deal with this stuff. It does not do anything good for me. Maybe that is just it, take my life for how it is and everything it is going to be and LOVE it. LOVE it like it is the only thing that matters in this place, because it is. I have friends and family that I can love and care for and appreciate but there are more important things in life. And that is to love and care for and appreciate yourself. If I do not do that, I am living and breathing for nothing. Everything is happening around me, and to me, but what will I do when it is time to actually stand up for myself and put matters into my own hands. The essence of this may be to take care of yourself or do not let stupid stuff get to you, but I take it as loving me for who I am and not taking things for granted because there are billions of other people on this Earth and my focus should be to care for myself...

3 People

I had to write a personal statement for my English class and thought I would share.

Prompt: If you could have dinner with any three people (alive now or from another era), who would they be and what you hope to learn from them?

If there was an opportunity in my life for me to sit down and have dinner with three people, well that would be a very hard decision. My first instinct would be to choose historical figures, celebrities, or people I constantly see on the cover of Forbes Magazine. Actually I would prefer these people be close in relationship to me like a family member or friend I never got the chance to get to know very well. My first choice would be my dad Gary Armstrong, and two friends named Joe Napolis and Evan Etoch.

When I was four years old, my dad passed away from lung cancer after a long habit of smoking. I can imagine that I didn’t really understand this part of my life very well at first. But I soon came to find out that all my friends were living in this perfect world with two parents and I came to the realization I didn’t have a dad. Just about every single day I wondered what it would be like to have a dad: how he would treat me, how he would love me, and just the things in life that a dad is essentially there for a young girl. I would like to sit down with my dad and hope he loves Mexican food as much as I do, and dwell into all these topics and questions that have captivated my heart and mind for most of my young lives. Then within a span of a typical dinner time I would know in my heart what it would be like to have a dad.

Another person in my life that I would like to spend more time with and converse with over dinner is named Evan Etoch. Evan was a well-known boy I went to school with. I started at a new middle school with him in seventh grade, then through eighth grade, and during our freshman year of high school he ended his life doing something he always did and will love: dirt bike riding. It was such a passion for him and when I think about the time he spent in the last few minutes of his life he makes me so happy. In a matter of hours his death broke the hearts and spirits of so many people in one community. My goal would be to talk to him and thank him for the legacy and memory he left behind to his immediate family and friends and the people who had the unfortunate yet fortunate joy of getting to know him after his passing. Then ask him what he learned up in heaven for two and a half years after looking down on all of us and seeing the pain that we had to suffer through. I would want to know in his own words why it was so necessary for him to leave Earth so young and innocent with what seemed like such a hopeful life ahead of him.

If I could choose one more person to sit and have dinner with, I would not hesitate to talk with my friend Joe Napolis. When I moved to a new town in 2005 I was barely turning ten years old and he was a man at my church who along with his wife guided me in many right directions, not only in my life but to grow in my Christian faith. While not knowing a whole lot about Joe and spent a lot of time with him and his wife Theresa. Joe and Theresa were actively involved in the church and my family grew to be close with them through the years. He was diagnosed with cancer and passed away in a matter of four months. Part of what broke me deep inside after his death was the fact that I never got to say goodbye. It was first thought that he was just sick and going in and out of the hospital. But when the cancer was detected and he was transferred to a far hospital and I was never allowed to visit him. That was something that I had to handle on the inside before I could change my outlook on his death on the outside. If I had the opportunity to sit down with him I would talk about the fact that I my family and him and his wife spent so much time together , yet I would have liked to know more about his life and what got him to where he left his life on his final days.

It seems like I would prefer sitting down to have dinner with people would have passed away at some point in my life. Also sharing the fact that I spent time and love with these people yet I could have known so much more about them. I really believe that my experiences with these people could have the potential of changing my present outlook on life and death and how I should carry out the rest of my life. Because in reality I only get one life to live and one want to make it the best one yet.

Food for Thought

This is just a little picture I got from a Goodwill in Bakersfield and couldn't help but post. Simple yet kind of adorable rules to try and live by. Everyday tasks that some can really make a difference, others a little funny, and some pretty random.

Sing in the shower

Treat everyone you meet the way you want to be treated

Watch a sunrise at least once a year

Leave the toilet seat in the down position

Never refuse homemade brownies

Strive for excellence, not perfection

Plant a tree on your birthday

Learn three clean jokes

Return borrowed vehicles with the gas tank full

Compliment three people every day

Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them

Leave everything a little better than you found it

Keep it simple

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures

Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know

Floss you teeth

Ask for a raise when you feel you've earned it

Be forgiving of yourself and others

Overtip breakfast waitresses

Say "thank you" a lot

Say "please" a lot

Avoid negative people

Buy whatever kids are selling on card tables in their front yards

Wear polished shoes

Remember others people's birthdays

Commit yourself to constant improvement

Carry jumper cables in your trunk

Have a firm handshake

Send lots of Valentine's cards. Sign them "Someone who thinks your terrific."

Look people in the eye

Be the first to say "hello"

Use the good silver

Return all things you borrow

Make new friends, but cherish the old ones

Keep secrets

Sing in the shower

Plant flowers every spring

Have a dog

Always accept an outstretched hand

Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.

Wave at kids on school buses

Be there when people need you

Feed a stranger's expired parking meter

Don't expect life to be fair

Never underestimate the power of love

Drink champagne for no reason at all

Live you life as an exclamation, not an explanation

Don't be afraid to say, "I made a mistake."

Don't be afraid to say, "I don't know."

Compliment even small improvements

Keep your promises (no matter what)

Marry only for love

Rekindle old friendships

Count your blessings

Call your mother